Thinking that we know what it's like to be someone else is crazy, lazy and potentially very dangerous. (Not to mention annoying.) Sure, we try to put together some hazy idea, an identity we feel we can handle, ---- but trust, we should, that something HUGE might be missing from our projected little equation. OK, and so what, why is this important? I guess the reason I find it important is because last night I was reminded that we need to be more curious about each other. Curious in a compassionate sense, not a nosy one. During our meetup at the District's Wonder Lab, we spoke about blocks; you know, the activities or ideas that we bend into stale little pretzels that serve as something to munch on but ultimately give warped value or pleasure. The list of what we abuse is endless: food, sex, work, companionship - all simply numbing the inner voice. The voice that knows whether to make the right or left turn, or whether we should quit that job and/or move to Alaska. Yep, that one!
(Rewinding to the meetup). Per my usual, I had printed out an agenda with my oh so brilliant questions all laid out and ready to dig. But as usual-er we totally ventured into left field and into... well, streaming mode. (Score!) With our collective inner voice leading the way, and my list of questions now securely placed on my lap, I simply listened. Intently.
What I saw was something different from our previous sessions. The trust was palpable and one by one we were inching the conversation closer to a truth we apparently had been hesitating to expose.
Each of us, unknowingly, was offering a piece to a puzzle. Until, boom, the elephant in the room fell on its face.
M o t h e r h o o d.
Whaaaat. Yes, ma'am.
As women, we came to the realization that we had been using motherhood as a block to living peacefully with what is. Though our stages in the matter differed, we each defended against some sort of guilt and worthlessness for not (yet) having borne children. Could this be for real, could we really be feeling unworthy of existing, without some biological validation other than breathing? And I think somewhere in our muddled up consciousness, the answer is yes, we do feel invisible without the "mother" status. The block lies not in the wanting but in the needing of that title, to feel worthy. And fine, even though that's understandable if we are to look at our historical bump-print, if that ain't a BLOCK to honoring the inner voice and creating a life true to our multifaceted existence, then I don't know what is! #Dassit!
To say that I was extremely touched with the confidence and purity that was pouring into our group is an understatement. This was it. Within those very seconds, for that space and time, there was a glimmer of my purpose, birthing itself into existence.
An identity dictated by the heart; a life worth living.
Before the day is out, why not go up to a good friend and ask them, "Hey, is there anything you have been really wanting to get off your chest but have felt scared or uncomfortable doing so? I'm curious to know, and would love to lighten any burden if I could."